Hi, I am back! I’ve been busy working away and trying to survive this building up experience thing we need to do in our twenties. Even though I am constantly thinking I need to be doing more and more of everything! I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what actually matters and listening to the people that say ‘what your doing now is more than enough” even though they put themselves under the exact same pressure. Why do we do this?
As many of you know I started a new job around 8 months ago in the industry I studied to be in and… I really like it! I really do. But for some reason we have this tendency to not just enjoy it as we are always looking to up are game and move onto the next best thing even if we just need to settle and learn. I’ve not got the title or the wage that I wanted to be on at 24, but I have worked hard and know I’ll get where I want to go soon…and the deaf struggling school girl inside me is just thrilled that I got the opportunity that was so hard to even dream about. I always told myself I just need to get one foot in the door and absorb as much information as I can. When you think about it…it is other people’s opinions that actually cause us to think these thoughts that were not enough or doing enough…and we all do it to each other…why? I made a conscious decision this year to think more about how others may be feeling inside rather than what I perceive and it’s made me realise that so much of what I perceived was completely wrong and we are all EXACTLY the same.
What can we do…for the planet?
I have been balling my eyes out for weeks watching Our Planet on Netflix and listening to every podcast there is on climate change cause I feel guilty…so guilty that I’m doing nothing…. As a family we do try and make changes where we can with recycling and limiting plastic but yeah it takes effort and it’s annoying sometimes…but I would like my children some day to see the things that I see rather than show them pictures of animals that used to be here and places that used to exist. I know it sometimes feels like I’m only one human how could I make that much of a difference but you are still one more person showing you care about our planet. I have promised myself that this year I will try to adopt some new habits that over time will turn into leading a more environmentally friendly lifestyle. Visit this post for more tips on how to do your bit - https://bit.ly/2KlmLer
What can we do…for society?
As many of you already know from my ‘Deaf Diaries’ series and multiple other times I’ve mentioned…eye roll... YES! I’m deaf and I’ve grown to be proud of being deaf and to have this so-called label ‘Disability’. I think it great that so many people are talking about mental health, anxiety and highlighting the signs and ways to help. However I feel there so much more we could be doing to just be kinder human beings, so many times I’ve been left to sit alone, not spoken too or made to feel lonely that I can’t do that to another person. We spend a lot of time thinking about how we feel about things that we don’t think enough of how others feel. I still feel embarrassed and sad when I know someone isn’t really interested in what I say cause “what would that deaf girl know?’ quoted from the lips of another human being. We all have things to say and important thoughts and opinions and everyone deserves to be heard by someone…and ironically I spend a lot of time listening and being ignored as well as many amazing individuals with disabilities.
A former employer once said to me “What type of deaf person are you? You don’t sign and you speak?” I was so angry with him he was basically saying I didn’t fit his stereotype so it must have meant I was lying. It couldn’t possibly mean that every deaf person is different and we don’t all walk around like identical twins. (Yep…I did say this to him…) but what annoyed me more was how dare he say that I wasn’t good enough deaf person or a good enough hearing person. Why are we passing judgement on anyone? Especially passing judgement on someone’s abilities and disabilities?
I spend an embarrassing amount of time worrying about how I look, if I’m nice enough, funny enough, smart enough all because I think that those things will balance out what people will think of me because I’m deaf. Like they will say “She’s actually quite funny” or another quote from a kind individual “She’s actually good looking for a deaf girl” which is absolutely ridiculous that anyone should see a disability as a negative reason to not like or try to get know another person. When we are all so different and the world would be a boring place if we were all the same. I feel like everyone should use their voice to educate and help others. I live in a very hearing world and it can be lonely sometimes, feeling like the odd one out or the one that’s different. Recently I met a girl called Grace and worked with Action on Hearing Loss in NI and realised the importance of supporting people and showing others your capabilities rather than your disability.
In 3 months I’ll be 25…dun dun DUN! And all I can think about are achievements and goals and really all my goals should be is ... to keep trying to be a better human being and everything else will fall in line where its meant to be.
Thanks for managing to get to this part in the post… that I blurted out on paper within half an hour so that I could say all the thoughts I have! I hope that I’ll find the time to continue to write and add to my blog…it’s been a while. Fingers crossed!
Amy x