Well… my last blog post went a bit crazy! 14 hundred views and counting! That’s amazing. Thank you for sharing! After such a positive response and feedback from companies and readers I decided to create some more content surrounding my deafness and I’m calling these posts “The Deaf Diaries” I hope you approve…
When exploring different things to talk about regarding my deafness the one thing that stood out the most was how as a teenager I constantly just felt left out and it wasn’t until I was an adult that I realised that part of it was me! I was relying on everyone else to make sure I was included but it really needs to be a mix of both.
Lots of people comment on how I am not absorbed in my phone as many other people are and it is true I make an effort constantly to be present but it’s more of a necessity than a choice I’ve made. A good 75% of my communications is lip reading and if I was looking down at my phone or glancing at it I can miss a whole part of a conversation. So I love having a proper chat with someone and being able to relax and have no struggle to understand. Tip 1 – For any friends or family of a deaf person or in fact to any person looking at your phone when someone is taking the time to communicate with you… IS RUDE. Just Saying.
Over the last few years I have noticed this so much more, no eye contact or connection is a pretty boring and un-meaningful conversation.
As a teenager I used to feel completely out of the loop at friends dinners, family events and even in school. Mainly because I just simply couldn’t understand, and felt no one cared that I didn’t know or hear what we were talking about. It’s very easy to feel a bit sorry for yourself but something just clicked one day and I was like “ I’m funny and I have cool and interesting things to say,” why should I be waiting till someone invites me to speak. Here’s another tip! Let’s call it Tip 2 – Sit in the middle of it all, up straight, make clear eye contact and be present. You can not let yourself be isolated, if you need someone to repeat themselves ask them, don’t be embarrassed like I was because it’s a lonely life not having a voice or interaction with people.
Oh the club scene… exciting teenage years! Many people that know me will laugh at this because to them I am not a big drinker and crazy booze filled nights out is not really my thing. But it’s not because I don’t like alcohol or nights out with my friends! Its really because alcohol and lip-reading does not mix well AT ALL. If your deaf and have ever had to much to drink and to understand someone you’ve had to stand really still and squint at an angle just to slow down your brain enough to maybe and I mean maybe understand a word of what they’re saying you’ll understand!
But as much as drinking with friends and family is great fun the second I’m slightly tipsy I’m relying on everyone else to keep me included because it takes a large part of my brain to lip-read and most of it by then is drunk! Therefore, personally for me I don’t really drink unless I’m with people I know will always keep me in the loop and included!
Oh and here is some funny things about night clubbing and being deaf!
1. Because of your lip reading abilities when your communicating with drunken folk they always think you’re trying to kiss them! Apparently I send them saucy signals…nope...I can assure you I am...NOT
2. Lip reading is a lifesaver in nightclubs, as when all your friends can barely hear their dates you know exactly what’s going on!
3. The awkward moment when someone chats you up and tries talking in your ear…. Nope… this is definitely not going to work…. Yep even if you yell still not going to work.
4. No whispering sweet nothing to me… I live for the mouthing of sweet nothings… it’s the new way of doing it! Boyfriend - take note!
Really, it all takes some confidence which I know personally is pretty difficult sometimes I especially feel it when I meet new people or when I’m travelling about. It’s so easy just to just drop back and just let all the mouths move around you and not engage but coming from experience. This is a very lonely way to live!
Being deaf doesn’t mean you can’t make great conversations, jokes, debates and give advice so push out of that comfort zone and engage and chat! Once I had broken through that barrier that I had made for myself I became a very sociable person and realised all the things I had missed out on just because of fear and sometimes-rude humans! But hey! They are in every walk of life so don’t let them push you out.
I hope this helps someone and keep your eyes peeled for any new content on Chasing Amy.
Ps. I am currently in Café Nero writing this and can lip-read an elderly couple bitching about someone called Bertha who has shit plants in her garden…apparently. Lip reading can be amusing. Poor Bertha.